Postal (2007)

Director: Uwe Boll
Starring: Postal Dude, Osama Bin Laden, George W. Bush, Vern Troyer

Right....where the hell do you start with a review for a film like this? The trailer might be a good point of reference for the uninitiated. Actually, no, that's a fucking terrible point of reference as that 90 seconds makes more sense than the 100 goddamn minutes of the film.

So, where to start? The end? Yes, the end....Osama Bin Laden & George W. Bush skipping through a field as nuclear bombs come down all around them.

"Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah"

This is a bit of a different kind of review than normal, largely because I've had my eyes raped by a bunch of fucked up scenes that think they're pushing boundaries when all they're doing is making you think that Uwe Boll either tortured animals or was kept locked in a cellar and fed on snakes when he was a child.

It's fucked up, but it's supposed to be. From the opening scene where 9/11 terrorists are having doubts about their mission due to the confusion over the number of virgins they're going to get in paradise to the aforementioned fire from the sky ending, you're "treated" to a whole bunch of fucked up scenes that make very little sense but are still funnier than any amount of these so-called parodies such as "Meet the Spartans" and "Disaster Movie" etc.

I think that deep down Boll knows that he's a shit filmmaker, and he doesn't care. People still go to see his films - usually fans of the computer games he tends to make into films. He has somehow managed to coax some very good actors into his various films (whether by bribing them with Nazi gold or whether he has a dossier of dirt on them, who knows?).

Postal is largely a response to his critics - most likely the ones that didn't fight him in the boxing ring. He isn't taking anything seriously and uses it as a platform to piss people off more than he has ever done before. The "Postal" game series has been controversial enough without the film, but this is a "light the blue touch paper and fucking leg it".

During a gun battle towards the end of the film, he kills more kids by gunshot than the history of Hollywood. Seriously. Then there's the baby in the pram that you saw in the trailer.....
There's also Verne Troyer being raped by a 1000 monkeys and some obligatory German toilet "humour". And it doesn't let up in the offensiveness, the stereotypes and the fucked up scenes. It's relentless right through to the end.

And you know what, I kind of liked it. It appealed to my fucked up sense of humour- you know, like laughing at a man getting hit in the groin by a football. Not by any stretch of the imagination is it a good film, though it's probably Uwe Boll's best film....which is faint praise. It's also a goddamn fuck load better than "Gamer".

Overall: 5/10