Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)

Directed by: It doesn't matter
Starring: Michael Keaton

Michael Keaton returns as Jack Frost to wreak havoc on the selfish bastard family that let him melt in Jack Frost.....oh, wait. I forgot about the snowman rule....Monobrow = Bad Snowman. Not that you see Jack until quite far into the film anyway, so you'd just have to guess up until then. Though you already knew that, unless you eat bricks.

So, after being foiled by a truckload of antifreeze at the end of the first film, Jack's melted antifrozen remains have been buried at a secret location. We know this due an "hilarious" opening scene where Sam the Sheriff (hero of the first film) is in a psychiatrists chair reciting his story....to much amusement from the psychiatrists and everyone listening on speakerphone.

Antifreeze gets dug up/scientists/clumsy cleaner knocks anitfreeze in water tank/tank exlodes/glass in cleaner's throat....JACK'S BACK! And back to what he does best - killin'!

To cut a long story short, all the soon to be dead people end up on a tropical island, along with some of the survivors from the first film......Jack kills several people and ends up being killed by a fucking banana, due to some contrived cross-DNA thing with Sam, who is allergic to them. Seriously.

And there's a fucking snow shower on a tropical island, courtesy of Jack. It's like adding ice cream to chilli.

Ultimately, it's all about the deaths - and there are plenty. No. 4 gets killed by a giant fucking ice anvil, for instance. Totally ACME. No. 7 eats a Jack infected icecube and has her head exploded. Most are just variations on snowballed to death, or icicles through eyes etc. and it's all heading towards another showdown with the antifreeze.....Jack falls in it, goes all melty "Urrrgh!"....but survives. He then voms up a snowball......

Or so we think......because these aren't just snowballs, they're just Jack's babies!!! OMFG! I am not making this up. As if it wasn't totally batshit mental already, this is where it just goes absolutely insanely surreal. There is even a snowball bar party scene straight out of Gremlins. I couldn't breathe from laughing at this point - they're so damn murderously cute.

"Seriously, do I look like I need a fucking caption?"

And then the bananas......a Banana Daquiri to be precise. Cue some loaded up waterpistols....

Oh fuck this....I can't stop laughing. Look, if you liked the first one, you'll love this. If you want to watch some comedy deaths, watch this. If you want to see Willem Dafoe's green goblin, then watch "Antichrist"....I mean, this is practically Dogme anyway....it's definitely got a lower budget, and was sponsored by Asahi.

FX: 0
Cheese: 10
Bananas: 150
Leagues: 20,000
Comedy: Yes
Baldwin: No

Overall: 5/10